Lesson #5 – Embrace discomfort
3/24 10:42pm
“Maybe I should’ve stayed home,” I wonder to myself as Luganda, Amharic, and Swahili flood my ears and my eyes take in the small, propeller powered aircraft. But then I look past the dated airplane and mute the foreign accents and notice the stars. Most are flooded out by the light pollution that I’ve grown accustomed to after living in major cities for the past 8 years. But a few manage to shine through and my excitement for Uganda and Zanzibar stars begins, slowly, to reemerge.
3/25 9:14am
Discomfort is an emotion that I think gets little attention. Poetry, music, film, dance, writing, and various other forms of creative expression give much attention to love, fear, hate, grief, lust, jealously, hope, joy, etc. What about discomfort? Am I stretching this feeling too far by calling it an emotion? Does it fit within the definition of “emotion”?
I’m avoiding leaving my solitary niche known as my room. This is my momentary place of comfort where I can avoid curious eyes and foreign languages. But, I prayed this morning for an open heart and spirit, and I know this can come with questioning. So, I’ll simply go into the kitchen and ask, “Can I help with anything?” and if all else fails, “Where’s Victoria?” J
3/28 3:28p.m.
I felt much more comfortable in Nepal. I think mainly because Kathmandu was more Westernized/modernized than Entebbe, but this is also because there were many more Westerners around, including my travel partners. There were others there to lead the way, play with the kids, and give the attention they all wanted and needed. We spent fewer hours with the kids at Anila and Kabi’s home, but were busier. I have much more idle time here, especially since I am by myself and am staying for 10 days (not 3 like in Nepal). I am so looking forward to Heather’s arrival.
3/29 8:24a.m.
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, thinking about people and things that get on my nerves. I know this is the work of the devil, so I am going to put my energy towards focusing on all the beautiful and happy things around me. For example:
- I had two pieces of French toast for breakfast, reminding me of the times when Mia would make French toast for us on Summer mornings
- Looking at the way the morning sun shines on the red dirt and grass outside makes me think of sitting on my grandma’s front stoop, waiting for everyone to finish getting ready for church, so we could go to Sunday school
- The ants and empty honey jar on the table also remind me of my grandma’s house, where no matter what we did, the ants would not go away
- The sound of the broom sweeping fallen leaves from the driveway carries me back to mornings on the front porch with my mom, discussing the progress of our rose bushes, and her saying, “Shannon, go get the broom and sweep these steps.”
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